My Story Of Finding God And My Transgender Identity

My relationship with God started in March of 1999, when a soon to be mother, by the name of Sharmini Lord was driving back from her ultrasound appointment one night in Greensboro, North Carolina. The doctor had given her some medicine before leaving the appointment, which soon knocked her out on the wheel when she was driving home. She lost control of the car and drove off the highway into a nearby forest, just missing the nearby billboard sign. The ambulance rushed to the scene, the car was totaled from front to back, and that soon to be mother, made it out alive and 5 months later, she gave birth to that baby. That baby was me.

As the years went on, and little Hiran was getting older, God watched his character and personality emerge, through the difficult childhood that he faced. That little kid was beaten, bullied, and broken down, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But somehow God didn’t let that break him. As that little kid got older, he started learning that he was different from the other kids. He learned to suppress his identity, to protect him from the hurt, embarrassment, and humiliation that it would come with it. But those feelings followed him, and led him down a path of self-discovery, and to self-acceptance.

This path took years of sleepless nights, deep depression, and even 3 suicide attempts. But it all led him to discover a newly found relationship with God. One filled with that guidance, support, and unconditional love, that he looked for all his life. Through the constant battles of learning to accept himself and differentiate the toxic Christian beliefs from his family, he developed his own unique relationship with God. A relationship that many Christians will say cannot exist because he’s LGBTQ+.

This is my story, the story of how God has been and is, in the driver’s seat of my life, helping me to live out my purpose, that same purpose he had for me when I was still in my mom’s womb. Many Christians, including my mom, will say how God has a purpose for my life, to become a Pastor, a Priest, a Minister, but I’m here to say that God has a different purpose for me, a purpose to live a life of service to help the people who face a similar struggle as me, one where the false stigmas of religious communities, make for one of the biggest obstacles to get around.

To anyone struggling to navigate through your relationship with God, I’m telling you that God loves you just the way you are, and that same struggle you face to accept your individuality and uniqueness, will one day be your purpose and story to the world.